In Memory of Chris

While I am not a huge fan of child development theorists, I am a firm believer in the concept of Nurture and Nature. There have been arguments of whether or not our genetics or our experiences determine our choices later in life and I have always thought it was both. That’s why you see people born to be great that fall into ruin, and people born into darkness that rise above it. I think my Christianity plays a key role in my beliefs. I know that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” {Phillipians 4:13} and I know that he doesn’t promise that it will be an easy journey.

It is with great sadness that I write these words. Today was the funeral of a man, whom I am sad to say I did not know very well. He was not a close friend of mine. He was not a huge influence in my life. Truthfully, there are so many things that could have been minutely different in either one of our lives and we would have never met. For about a year now I have babysat his two daughters, Taylor and Victoria. And let me say that while I did not know Chris, I do know his babies and there is a lot you can tell about the parents from the way their children act.

I know that Chris was funny. Taylor has his smile and cracks the most hilarious jokes. I know that he was stubborn. More than once I’ve seen sweet little Victoria get into fights with him when she wanted her way (which always ended in ‘I love you’). I’ve saw the way he treated his wife, or should I say his queen? I could tell that when he asked me how I was doing that he really wanted to know. I could see that he was passionate. Many times I would come over to watch the girls while he went out to play soccer with his team. He had a full time job, a wife and two kids and in his downtime he didn’t sleep or rest or sit or read or talk- he played and had fellowship with friends that truly cared about him.

I saw many of those friends today. The church was full of people and the picture montage on the screen showed evidence of a life well lived. Chris worked hard and played hard. He loved his family and is leaving behind a wife and two wonderful girls that will be forever changed by the lifestyle he set in motion.

I don’t know why God took him now. There is not an answer for that because the only things I can see are the present and the past. God holds all the strings in his hand. He knew a year ago when they moved all the way from New Orleans that I would need this family in my life. He new to introduce them to my sunday school teacher, who then called me (out of all of the other girls that could have done the job) when they needed a new babysitter. God knew that I would be late for my interview with them. God knew that I would instantly love their little girls. God knew that I would have one of the best experiences of my babysitting career in their house, so how can I speculate now that he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

God knows. He cares. He was in that service today touching each person there with His quiet comforting hand. He understands our pain and He can heal us.

Chris is gone for now, but I have no doubt that one day we will see him again. I will see him reunited with Taylor and Victoria. I will see his wife, Sarah getting to tell him about how strong she will become in the next few years. Taylor will crack a joke and Victoria will show him some new dance moves.

Nurture and Nature play a big part in our lives. Taylor and Victoria have two of the best parents, so nature is taken care of. The nurturing part of the equation should be covered too. Sarah is a brave woman, who is wise and kind. I know that she will carry on and stay strong for her girls. Chris may be gone, but he won’t be forgotten. From the outpouring of love I saw in the guests at his funeral today I know that Taylor and Victoria will have no shortage of good stories to remember their father’s legacy by.

             Christopher P.

         July 14, 1971-September 22, 2012

      The Lord is the everlasting God,

    the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

    and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

    and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

    and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

    will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

    they will run and not grow weary,

    they will walk and not be faint.

{Isaiah 40: 28-31}